Some people believe that it is wrong for professional athletes to compete in the Olympics because their strong financial backing and training give them an unfair advantage over the other athletes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #athletes #olympics #advantage

Some individuals think it is not fair that professional

athletes

to race in the

Olympics

, as their financial power and training create them an advantage over the other

athletes

. I completely agree with

this

opinion, because professional

athletes

have more

experience

than others and, as the

Olympics

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

once every four years, some

chance

should be given to amateur

athletes

First

of all,

athletes

who have more

experience

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities are much

lucky

Correct quantifier usage

more lucky

show examples

than other

athletes

. While usual sportsmen attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

competitions once or two times

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a year, professionals can

compete

Add the preposition

forcompete

show examples

much more than that. That’s why they can’t gain

experience

enough.

In addition

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

situation can affect

this

, because it claims a lot of time and money to prepare for the

Olympics

Athletes

should have

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

trainer

Fix the agreement mistake

trainers

show examples

and they have to travel

other

Change preposition

to other

show examples

countries

for

Change preposition

show examples

gain

Add an article

the gain

show examples

experience

. All of

this

requires money,

Correct word choice

and as

show examples

a result, these

athletes

couldn’t get much

experience

Olympic

Correct article usage

The Olympic

show examples

games

held

Add a missing verb

are held

show examples

once every four years and it is one of the most important races in the world. It is a big

chance

for amateur players to prove themselves. As professional players compete

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

competition, other

athletes

nearly have no

chance

to win

title

Add an article

the title

a title

show examples

For example

player

Add an article

the player

a player

show examples

who has world titles can

also

attend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Olympics

and it is not fair. In conclusion, I agree with the opinion that professionals should not compete in the

Olympics

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they have more knowledge and other

athletes

should have to

chance

to win the prize.

Submitted by manqanat1 on Sun Nov 20 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is wrong for professional athletes to compete in the Olympics because their strong financial backing and training give them an unfair advantage over the other athletes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people think environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?