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Band 4.5

Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sport
A segment of individuals
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
show examples
 that
sports
 which can cause injuries to
people
 ought to be prohibited.
However
,others think that they want.I firmly believe that everyone has the privilege to be engaged in
sports
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
even if they are hazardous. On the one hand,it is obvious that a vast number of plays are not involved in the Olympic
Games
 because of being dangerous for human health
such
 as MMA,Karate and so on.
However
,they have a huge reputation among human beings.Competitions like UFC and MMA are gaining popularity year by year all over the world.
This
 is simply because fans are more likely to watch fights that contain blood and Nokaut.They take pleasure in them.
This
 influences society negatively because they tend to be aggressive.
Consequently
,
this
 would increase the crime rate throughout the world.
Therefore
,authorities should take steps in order to prevent perilous
sports
.To justify my opinion,some athletes who were engaging in dangerous activities died or got injuries during the competition or training because of having lack of safety regulations.
That is
 why banning hazardous
games
 in conjunction with preventing deaths and traumas,would decrease the crime rate.
On the other hand
,it is almost impossible to apply restrictions in order to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
people
 to not
play
Wrong verb form
playing
show examples
games
 that
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 a menace to their health but there is only one way to increase awareness of individuals about the harms of physical activities.
Additionally
,despite being hazardous
people
 who are more inclined to be engaged with
games
 are much more beneficial rather than being addicted to bad addictions.
Therefore
,it would be better to not interfere person's choice.It can change his or her life radically.One explanation for
this
,some
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
 started to use alcohol and narcotics after being forced to break perilous
games
 its results may be inevitable to oblige someone not to do anything.
Hence
,it is necessary to respect everyone's options.
To conclude
,
although
 a vast number of
people
 believe that perilous
sports
 should be forbidden owing to the danger to human organisms.It is
also
 necessary that everyone ought to be free to opt for
sports
 activities.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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