IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You exercise regularly and have been a member of many different gyms. Recently, you moved into a new neighbourhood and joined a new gym. You have noticed that people at this gym do not bother to wipe down the machines after use and often leave dirty towels on the benches in the changing rooms. Write to the gym manager. In your letter: Explain who you are Describe the problem exactly Make suggestions to improve the gym

#exercise #member #gyms #neighbourhood #gym #people #machines #towels #benches #rooms #manager #suggestions
Dear Mr Sam, I am Sarah Hubert, an accountant by profession. I have recently moved into
this
 vicinity and joined your
gym
. So far, I have liked
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
everything about your
gym
; including enough
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
show examples
 between the machines,
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
 environment especially since I really like talking to people, proper air conditioning and
personalized
Correct article usage
a personalized
show examples
 training plan for each person.
However
, when it comes to maintaining hygiene, I am a bit disappointed with it. The
gym
 could use some improvements, like what I see is that most people, visiting your
gym
, do not even bother to wipe down the machines after using them.
Moreover
, some of them leave dirty towels often on the benches and on the floor in the changing rooms. So, in my point of view, concerning
this
 hygiene issue, I would like to suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
provide a hygiene guideline for all those visiting your
gym
. The
gym
 staff should
also
 be more active and take the initiative to clean the
gym
 and its equipment regularly. Thanks for your consideration. Yours sincerely, Sarah Hubert
Submitted by daminiramchurn15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: