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Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? What are some possible solutions?

#people #cities #exercise
In
this
 day and age, adopting a passive
lifestyle
 has become a matter of great concern among the urban population.
This
 is mainly
due to
 the modern
lifestyle
, but it can be controlled by educating
people
 about its danger. Amongst the major factors, having modern way of living is perhaps the most contributing significant element.
This
 is because, citizens are more likely to adopt the latest
lifestyle
 especially advance technology: mobile phones, computers and robots to perform work, always busy on using social networking sites like Whatsapp, Instagram and YouTube
instead
 of spending
time
 with friends and family members as compared to past.
As a result
, they never take part in physical activity sessions. Not only
this
, lack of
time
 is another reason.
That is
 to say,
people
 are workaholic, and in
this
 competitive era, they work round the clock to complete the deadlines which is given by employer, they come late at home, fully exhausted,
hence
, they are less likely to do yoga and any physical activity.
For example
, In the USA, 90% of
people
 adopt passive
lifestyle
due to
 lack of
time
. Turning to solutions, higher authorities ought to come forward and aware
people
 living in cities about dangers of addiction to and reliance on technology by using educating campaign and social networking platforms: Facebook
as well as
 advertisements. By doing
this
, they get to know about its side effects and give first preferences to active lifestyles than passive one.
Moreover
, employer must adjust the
time
 table and arranging gym at the business premises to maintain the health of individuals, in
this
 way, they give
time
 to themselves. In conclusion, despite the fact that giving least
time
 to physical activity by
people
 living in cities is a major concern we are facing today, if appropriate actions are taken by the government and individuals it can be controlled to a greater extent.
Submitted by satinderk857 on

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task response
Task Response: The response partially addresses the task but lacks depth and clarity in providing a comprehensive analysis of the causes of a lack of physical exercise in urban areas and potential solutions. It would benefit from a more detailed exploration and specific examples to support the points.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is fairly clear, with a discernible introduction and conclusion, but the development of main points lacks coherence and cohesion. There is a need for better organization and smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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