"In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters, and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?"

#today’s #world #science #technology #value #artists #musicians #painters #writers #arts #life

In our modern world today, scientific and technological advances are popular,

people

Correct word choice

and people

show examples

working in the fields of

arts

such

as artists, musicians, painters and writers still have their own value.

This

is because

arts

can teach us

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

various things about life that

science

and

technology

do not have

this

ability.

Firstly

arts

make people

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

see everything from different perspectives. In the area of

science

and

technology

, we see things exactly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the way they are but in

Correct article usage

an artist’s

show examples

artist’s

Fix the agreement mistake

artists’

show examples

eyes, we can see everything as we want and we feel about it.

For example

, in the approach of a researcher, a dog is just an animal with soft fur,

four

Correct word choice

and four

show examples

legs and has the function to look after the house;

however

, a dog, to a writer,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can be a faithful friend, a brave hero.

This

thought helps us gain deeper and more thorough insights and it enables us to solve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems more wisely.

Secondly

, while

science

and

technology

may help us to develop physically,

arts

bring peace to our souls.

For instance

, whenever someone is depressed and hopeless, they often find music, which heals their souls and makes them feel more motivated. I think we hardly ever find

this

feeling when we carry out a scientific experiment or a technological survey. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that the world of

arts

can bring us a wide range of benefits that

science

and

technology

cannot.

Submitted by oosc.1601 on Mon Nov 21 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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"In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters, and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?"

Your opinion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company. Why might this case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people prefer to work for a large company. Other prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification