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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world #development
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Undoubtedly, cities around the world have been suffering influences from outside, and as
result
Correct article usage
a result
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,
places
Use synonyms
became
Wrong verb form
have become
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 too similar to each other and lost their identity.
Besides
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, globalism is opening the market and many
countries
Use synonyms
 are
making
Verb problem
doing
show examples
 business with each other, and the population are accessing imported
products
Use synonyms
 easiest.
Firstly
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, the main reason is globalization which provides exchanges between people from many
places
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.
For instance
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, I've been to South Africa and there I had wonderful experiences
such
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 as visiting a famous vinery in the mountain around, and I had a candle dinner with my wife in recognised restaurants. In fact, the point is, I felt as my
last
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 travel to Europe, where I visited similar
places
Use synonyms
 as I could enjoy in South Africa. To be honest, I'm not an expert and I'm bringing up a fact about those who immigrated to another land and took with them their unique style, and obviously, applied it there.
Secondly
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, the open market
provides
Verb problem
allows
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 companies to export and import
products
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 from many
places
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.
For example
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, China has been
making
Verb problem
doing
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 business in many
countries
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 around the world and no matter what you buy, probably is written the phrase by China.
Besides
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, another example is
products
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 by Apple CO,
according to
Linking Words
 an article, only North Corea, Cuba, and other communist
countries
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 don't commercialize these
products
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, and as
result
Correct article usage
a result
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, around 90% of
countries
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 on the earth are using an iPhone, Macbook, and so
.
Rephrase
on.
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 In my opinion,
this
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 guarantees equality for humanity.
To conclude
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, the open market is vital for the economy, and it can improve folks' development,
however
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, authorities should work hard to boost the financial situation without losing their own style.
Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on

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