It so important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age . Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion. What sort of punishment should be parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relavant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour #relavant

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Some people have an opinion that punishment is crucial to teach minors and show them the difference between right and wrong from childhood. In my point of view, there is a variety of methods that could show children how to make correct decisions without abuse.

This

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topic will examine disagreement with the topic and an opinion will be given in the conclusion.

Firstly

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, punishments could reduce the possibility

to become

Change preposition

of becoming

show examples

more creative in the future.

Accordingly

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, minors would not be able to choose a major they wish and,

consequently

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, they would not get an occupation which is appropriate to their characters and ambitions.

Furthermore

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, when a minor grows up, the person will not be satisfied with his or her life and,

as a result

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, the human will be exhausted and, possibly,

in depression

Wrong verb form

depressed

show examples

For instance

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, the difference between an adult who has chosen an occupation which is suitable for him and another person, with a profession which is not suitable for his mindset, is obvious. Namely, the first one will have more chances to get rich and become more healthy.

Secondly

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, parents and teachers should encourage minors and motivate them by giving money and a positive attitude

instead

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of punishments for wrong decisions.

Therefore

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, children will not be frustrated after wrong attempts and will try to accomplish goals in spite of mistakes.

For example

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, if a minor tries to become a straight-A student and

will fail

Wrong verb form

fails

show examples

then

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the student will not give up and will continue to achieve aims despite difficulties.

To sum up

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, punishments are not a solution to all problems and there is a multitude of tactics to show children whether something is right or not.

Thus

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, encouragement could be more effective during the education process for students.

Submitted by yakovshmidt93 on Tue Nov 22 2022

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more explicit and clear. Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces your stance on the issue and that your conclusion restates your position and summarizes your main points.

task achievement

You have provided a complete response to the task, presenting an opinion and providing some relevant examples. However, make sure to provide a more comprehensive discussion of the topic and support your ideas with more specific and relevant examples.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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