IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some individuals believe that substantial and remarkable structures within a city carry the utmost significance.
Conversely
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, others said that finance would be better allocated towards enhancing
healthcare
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 facilities and educational institutions. I think that the government should spend money on serviceable construction like public infrastructure for society. On the one hand, several
people
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 discuss that large buildings are essential in the urban
center
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centre
show examples
 because it contributes a significant view of the areas,
due to
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 the effect on clean and modern inhabitants. Moving on, there will be many accommodations for
people
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 that cause crowded places which in turn raise income for a local business,
such
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 as restaurants and cafeterias. They do not have enough time to prepare their meals, so they prefer to dine out.
For instance
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, The Tempo Business released that the majority of householders in Jakarta had their daily meals in restaurants
while
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 others cooked at home.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue investing in health
centers
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centres
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 and educational institutions is fundamental to the benefit and prospects of citizens. Improving education can help
people
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 to become more skilled, driving economic growth as well. Typically, better
healthcare
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 facilities can enhance the quality of life for residents.
For instance
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, investments in
healthcare
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 in Singapore have contributed to its reputation as having one of the best
healthcare
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 systems in the world. Helping accelerate the milestones of
healthcare
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 development in the country, resulting in high-quality
people
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.
To sum up
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, I believe that investment in the educational and medical sectors should be prioritized over other purposes. Funds should be spent on citizens' importance to improve quality of life and public welfare.

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coherence cohesion
Introduction: Your introduction did well in presenting the essay topic and your thesis statement. Consider providing a brief outline of the points you will discuss to guide the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph presented a clear point of view. To enhance coherence, link your ideas more explicitly to the thesis statement and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion: You have provided a clear conclusion that restates your opinion, which is good. Try to summarize your main points more comprehensively to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Task Response: Ensure that you address all parts of the task by discussing both views and providing specific reasons and examples for your opinion. Expand your examples and their impact to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Support and Examples: While you provided examples, they could be developed further. More detailed examples or data supporting your statements will make your arguments more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
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