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Band 7

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
From a
physicians
Change noun form
physician's
show examples
 perspective, it is so vital for the elderly to have regular
exercise
 on daily bases.
Although
 there are a couple of
reasons
 that make most illnesses reluctant to plan regular
exercise
 in their daily routines, in
this
 essay I offer some solutions to make them keen on doing
sports
. There are a great number of
reasons
 which make senior citizens ignore regular
exercise
.
Firstly
, most elderly suffer from health problems and for a great deal of time feel tired and exhausted,
as a result
, due to lack of energy, they ignore physical exercises.
Secondly
, some mental and emotional problems like depression, stress or loneliness enhance by growing age,
consequently
, they become unable to do other activities or physical exercises and mostly prefer to stay at home, reading or watching movies.
Finally
, financial problems are a decisive factor to force them to work more like becoming taxi drivers;
hence
, they have to seat for a long time behind the wheel. All of the mentioned
reasons
 have a key role to stop regular
exercise
. There are three effective solutions to tackle
this
 problem. The main solution is that the government have to impose or improve the suitable passion of the seniors to support their main needs like having appropriate food or accommodation.
Besides
, government authorities must have close attention to public and
sports
 facilities ,especially public parks. it makes the elderly gather together and not only communicate with each other
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 benefited from these facilities and do some
sports
 activities.
Finally
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hiring some physicians or
sports
 trainers to visit monthly or once in a season and visit patients and check their activities freely in the park, might be efficient. In conclusion, I am convinced that,
although
 there are a number of
reasons
 that make older people ignore daily-routine exercises, using some effective methods can easily tackle
this
 problem as well.
Submitted by famana on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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