In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Increasingly, globalization has been changing people’s lives and those who like to travel abroad to learn about cultures don’t need it anymore. Nowadays, an individual can discover culture curious only using a smartphone. I have my opinion and would like to discuss both sides in

this

essay.

Firstly

, a good reason for cities

Fix the infinitive

to looks

show examples

looks

Correct subject-verb agreement

look

show examples

like others is globalism, which

allowed

Wrong verb form

allows

show examples

people travel to outside of the home, only using technology devices.

For instance

, for many years I’ve been studying English with a teacher from Canada,

however

, she was born in India. So,

consequently

, I’ve learned a lot about both cultures which I can apply to many learners daily.

For instance

, an Indian person taught me wonderful habits from Canadians,

such

as celebrating

Thanks Given

Correct your spelling

Thanksgiving

show examples

among friends and families, and Brazilians don’t celebrate it.

This

is the magic provided by globalization.

Secondly

, still talking about globalism, many countries around the world where there is an open market have been improving their economies, and society has been increasing their incomers as well.

For instance

, marketplaces

such

as Amazon, and Mercado Libre and so, have been boosting the number of entrepreneurs worldwide, and most of them have been hiring more and more employees each year. To be honest, I’m not an expert in economics and politics,

moreover

, poverty

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

going on for fewer than decades

ago

Rephrase

apply

show examples

This

is the reason why I support it, humanity must deserve the same opportunity, and

this

provides equality. In conclusion, governments should intensify rules and maintain cities’ identity, and

besides

, foments

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open market investments for attracting more and more international business and money.

Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on Tue Nov 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Task Achievement score is moderate. The response addresses the prompt but lacks a clear development of ideas and examples. Make sure to fully address each aspect of the prompt in a clear and comprehensive manner.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion score is satisfactory. The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, with some portion of appropriate introduction and conclusion present. However, the essay needs better organization and linking of ideas to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, it is often said that state-of-the-art devices for communication have a negative impact on public relationships. It is the writer’s opinion that misunderstandings may have occurred with individuals and also bad guys scamming, agreeing with this statement.
7.5
band
Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In recent times, technology has dramatically altered the way people interact with each other. Communication technologies have increased connectivity, enhanced the frequency of communication, and reshaped social dynamics in both positive and negative ways.
7.5
band
The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
It is often argued that the government should finance public services instead of spending its budget on arts, music and theatre. Although I agree that the government’s investments in public services play a very important role, I think that proper funding of the arts sector is also crucial for society.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Technology specifically smartphones is a big revolution in this era and aspects of using it beyond the bad ones.Despite of using it can improve life quality,for majoirty of children should be limited to doesn’t have negative effect on them.Is limitation a good choice rather than control them to don’t get involved too much in smartphones?.This essay will identify the reasons why using too much of smartphones could be harmful for children.
7
band
TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.
In many parts of the world, people still work after their retirement age. Some argue that this would help them to be stable both economically and psychologically, while others say that they should spend their last years of life with their families. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages for the elderly still working.

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The government’s investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case?Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.