In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #travel #differences #home #country #cities #world #development

Increasingly, globalization has been changing people’s lives and those who like to travel abroad to learn about cultures don’t need it anymore. Nowadays, an individual can discover culture curious only using a smartphone. I have my opinion and would like to discuss both sides in

this

essay.

Firstly

, a good reason for cities

Fix the infinitive

to looks

show examples

looks

Correct subject-verb agreement

look

show examples

like others is globalism, which

allowed

Wrong verb form

allows

show examples

people travel to outside of the home, only using technology devices.

For instance

, for many years I’ve been studying English with a teacher from Canada,

however

, she was born in India. So,

consequently

, I’ve learned a lot about both cultures which I can apply to many learners daily.

For instance

, an Indian person taught me wonderful habits from Canadians,

such

as celebrating

Thanks Given

Correct your spelling

Thanksgiving

show examples

among friends and families, and Brazilians don’t celebrate it.

This

is the magic provided by globalization.

Secondly

, still talking about globalism, many countries around the world where there is an open market have been improving their economies, and society has been increasing their incomers as well.

For instance

, marketplaces

such

as Amazon, and Mercado Libre and so, have been boosting the number of entrepreneurs worldwide, and most of them have been hiring more and more employees each year. To be honest, I’m not an expert in economics and politics,

moreover

, poverty

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

going on for fewer than decades

ago

Rephrase

apply

show examples

This

is the reason why I support it, humanity must deserve the same opportunity, and

this

provides equality. In conclusion, governments should intensify rules and maintain cities’ identity, and

besides

, foments

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

open market investments for attracting more and more international business and money.

Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on Tue Nov 22 2022

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Task Achievement

Task Achievement score is moderate. The response addresses the prompt but lacks a clear development of ideas and examples. Make sure to fully address each aspect of the prompt in a clear and comprehensive manner.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion score is satisfactory. The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, with some portion of appropriate introduction and conclusion present. However, the essay needs better organization and linking of ideas to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Write a refer letter to school psychologist

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy with everything organized and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages of relying too much on technology?

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?