IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women
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The idea
whether
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of whether
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men
 or
women
 tend to possess certain predispositions to become more competitive is a matter of
an
Correct article usage
apply
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ongoing debate regarding gender differences. Personally, I am more inclined to believe that
although
 there are some
women
 who are willing to compete in their personal pursuits,
the
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apply
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competitiveness is predominantly a male trait. To commence with, it has long been known the traditional image of differences between
men
 and
women
. Since
the
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apply
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prehistoric, our ancestors had to hunt and care for their families in order to survive, which highlighted what differentiates
men
 from
women
.Namely, are associated with physical strength while
women
 are more sensitive and should be taken care of.
Although
,
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apply
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this
 image results from
a
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gender stereotyping, there are certain professions or sectors which attracts
male
Add an article
a male
the male
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 audience. It can be seen
at
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in
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 the example of
Add an article
a sport
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 where the willingness to compete against each other is a natural element and certain sports disciplines are male-dominated, follow by minor female counterparts. Another line of
an
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argument is that
women
 tend to be more family-orientated with predispositions to start a family and have offspring
hence
 might see those things as an obstacle in order to
accomplish
Wrong verb form
accomplishing
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 their personal goals.
This
 is particularly visible in the workplace.
For example
,some researchers claim that some
women
 tend to show their competitive capabilities in order to be promoted before they decide to have offspring,
otherwise
 they might no longer be interested due to
Correct article usage
a change
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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of
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in
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 their priorities. To recapitulate,
although
 the willingness to compete is common for both genders,
men
 tend to be more focused on competing due to their psychological and
genetical
Replace the word
genetic
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 predispositions.
Submitted by hellobossgirl12 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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