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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
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 day and age, technology has reached every nook and corner of
this
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 world. It is considered that
children
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 start using electronic
gadgets
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 for the purpose of entertainment and education in their initial years. I firmly believe that the merits of
this
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 trend are clearly inferior to its drawbacks. To commence, there are few grounds which favour the drift.
Firstly
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, with the advancement of technology, there is an opportunity for e-learning available that can benefit minors to study online. There are enormous online study materials available at ease and free of cost which can be utilised by minors to enhance knowledge to compete in
this
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 highly developed world. Having mulled over the benefits, shifting towards the ill effects of using these
gadgets
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 and how it has a detrimental effect on juveniles. To elaborate,
children
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 are bewitched to electronic devices, and it affects their academic performance because they are distracted by random notifications that flash on the screen.
Besides
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, the usage of these devices not only reduces their productivity
,
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but,
show examples
this
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also
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 impacts their cognitive abilities from an early age. To cite an example, it has been observed that
children
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 who have more screen time often complain about headaches, lack of concentration and poor eye vision. For these reasons, the drawbacks of
this
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 trend cannot be snubbed.
Furthermore
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, the minors are not able to establish social bonds.
In other words
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, they have weak communication skills because they have been glued to their
gadgets
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 from their initial years, due to which they have not acquired the confidence to interact with society.
For instance
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, when these
children
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 grow up have no friends or social interaction because they have always been attached to their devices ,not to any individual. In conclusion, even though
gadgets
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 provide assistance for e-learning mode, still the pitfalls of
this
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 trend have more repercussions
such
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 as psychological issues and weakening relationships.
Therefore
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, it is evident to state that the shortcomings of
this
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 drift are superior to its advantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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