Some People say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is true that

music

can make a relationship between

people

all around the world. While some

people

believe that all ages

people

together from different cultures by

music

program it’s

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way

for

this

. I would have to support the idea that

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

show examples

new

year

concert

It's

Correct article usage

show examples

batter

Correct your spelling

better

show examples

way

for

Change preposition

show examples

together

Correct article usage

a together

show examples

and

Correct your spelling

also

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

wedding

Correct article usage

a wedding

show examples

concert

. On the

one

hand, there are clear arguments that

music

is a key

way

for

Change preposition

show examples

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

together.

One

of the main reasons can be that

happy

Correct article usage

the happy

show examples

new

year

concert

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

wonderful

Add an article

a wonderful

show examples

thing

for

Change preposition

show examples

enjoy.

This

means that current situation whole month all

people

have been busy

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

their life.They didn't get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

for

Change preposition

show examples

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

together with other

people

that's why it is

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way

. Another reason can be that it will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our communication gap each other by attending on

program

Add an article

the program

show examples

For example

last

year

I went to a

concert

of nearby my house

then

I saw lots of old friends earlier we didn't contact each other,

this

way

doing well for communication.

Other

Change the wording

Another

show examples

valid reason for advocating

this

view is that any

music

concert

Correct your spelling

help

helped

helpe

Correct your spelling

helps

to our all

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

together.

Firstly

, I believe that

Wedding

Correct article usage

a Wedding

show examples

concert

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

best

Change the article

the best

show examples

way

for

Change preposition

show examples

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves as

show examples

well as get together

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because nowadays every family's

people

living abroad for higher study and

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

.they didn’t meet

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

people

psychically. When

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

some

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

one

arrange

Change the verb form

arranges

show examples

weeding

Correct article usage

a weeding

show examples

program It's essential for them and

also

they can attend in

one

stage.

For example

couple

Correct article usage

a couple

show examples

Change preposition

of year

show examples

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

ago was

one

of my

cousins

Change to a genitive case

cousin's

cousins'

show examples

wedding

Fix the agreement mistake

weddings

show examples

and they organized a

concert

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

together,

Correct your spelling

before

befor

Correct your spelling

before

we didn’t get

a opportunities

Correct the article-noun agreement

an opportunity

opportunities

show examples

for

this

Secondly

, I

also

feel that it would

be help

Change the verb form

help

show examples

our relationship with each other. To conclude, In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I strongly believe that

music

has some power to make good

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between

people

who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

different ages,cultures and nationalities by above

this

Submitted by samsulislam43.si on Wed Nov 23 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
53Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some People say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

*Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.* Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some languages spoken by very few people are losing their importance and may become extinct. Is it a good or a bad development? What are the reasons for this?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.