IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that buying local products is better for the economy and the environment, while others argue that imported goods offer more variety and better quality. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that some people believe purchasing locally made
goods
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 benefits both the
economy
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 and the environment,
while
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 others argue that imported
products
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 offer greater variety and superior quality. Both perspectives have their own advantages.
However
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, I firmly believe that supporting local
products
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 is more beneficial in terms of economic growth and environmental sustainability. On the one hand, many individuals prefer imported
goods
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 because they provide a wider selection and often offer better quality. One of the main advantages is affordability, as many imported
products
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 are available at competitive prices.
For instance
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, unique items from Thailand attract consumers
due to
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 their distinctiveness and affordability.
Moreover
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, the accessibility of imported
products
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 through online platforms and social media makes it convenient for people to purchase them from home.
However
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, excessive reliance on imported
goods
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 can harm the environment. Imported
products
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 often come with excessive plastic packaging, and the long-distance transportation required to deliver them increases carbon emissions, contributing to environmental degradation.
On the other hand
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, buying locally produced
goods
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also
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 has significant advantages.
Firstly
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, it plays a crucial role in supporting Micro, Small, and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs), which are essential for a country’s economic growth.
For example
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, when consumers prioritize foreign
products
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 over domestic ones, local businesses struggle to compete, leading to a decline in demand for their
goods
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 and negatively impacting the national
economy
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.
Additionally
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, purchasing local
products
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 is more environmentally friendly, as it reduces plastic packaging and minimizes the carbon footprint associated with long-distance transportation. By choosing local
goods
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, consumers contribute to sustainability efforts
while
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 strengthening their national
economy
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. In conclusion,
while
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 imported
products
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 offer variety and affordability, I believe that prioritizing local
goods
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 is the better choice. Supporting locally produced items not only boosts the
economy
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 by helping small businesses thrive but
also
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 plays a significant role in reducing environmental damage. Encouraging people to choose local
products
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 can create a more sustainable and prosperous future.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a well-balanced discussion of both views with clear arguments. Make sure to delve deeper into the implications of each perspective to enhance depth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and relates to your overall thesis, which will strengthen the logical flow between sections.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a comprehensive overview of the topic and summarizing your opinion effectively.
Support
You provided relevant examples to support your points, especially in discussing the impact on the economy and environment, which adds credibility to your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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