Topic: Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary discourse on public
health
, the role of governments
in mitigating illness and disease remains pivotal. While
some argue that the primary focus should be on reducing environmental pollution
and tackling housing problems to prevent health
issues, others contend that this
approach may overlook other significant factors. In this
essay, I will explore both perspectives and argue that while
addressing environmental pollution
and housing problems is crucial, a comprehensive public health
strategy must encompass broader considerations.
To begin
with, there is substantial evidence supporting the idea that environmental pollution
and inadequate housing conditions contribute significantly to the prevalence of illnesses and diseases. Poor air quality, contaminated water sources, and exposure to hazardous substances are directly linked to respiratory ailments, cardiovascular diseases, and certain types of cancers. Similarly
, overcrowded or substandard housing exacerbates the spread of infectious diseases and mental health
issues among populations. Therefore
, it is imperative for governments
to prioritize initiatives aimed at reducing pollution
levels and improving housing standards to safeguard public health
.
Moreover
, addressing environmental and housing challenges aligns with the principles of social justice and equity. Vulnerable communities, such
as low-income households and marginalized populations, disproportionately bear the burden of environmental degradation and inadequate housing. By focusing efforts on mitigating pollution
and enhancing housing conditions, governments
can promote health
equity and ensure that all individuals have access to clean and safe environments conducive to well-being.
However
, it is essential to recognize that the prevention of illness and disease requires a multifaceted approach that goes beyond environmental and housing interventions. Factors such
as access to healthcare services, education, socioeconomic disparities, and lifestyle behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
also
significantly influence health
outcomes. Neglecting these aspects in favor
of a singular focus on Change the spelling
favour
pollution
and housing may limit the effectiveness of public health
strategies.
Furthermore
, there exists a complex interplay between environmental sustainability and public health
. While
reducing pollution
is essential for immediate health
benefits, long-term health
outcomes also
depend on broader environmental conservation efforts. Neglecting environmental protection in favor
of short-term Change the spelling
favour
health
gains may lead to unintended consequences in the future, such
as climate change-related health
hazards.
In conclusion, while
I agree that governments
should prioritize efforts to reduce environmental pollution
and address housing problems as part of a comprehensive public health
strategy, I believe that this
approach should be integrated with broader health
determinants. By adopting a holistic perspective that encompasses environmental sustainability, social equity, and healthcare access, governments
can effectively prevent illness and promote population health
in the long term.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Be sure to include specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. While you've provided a comprehensive discussion, adding real-world examples or citing recent studies could make your points more persuasive.
task achievement
Explore different viewpoints more explicitly. You have mentioned that there are other significant factors beyond pollution and housing issues, but delving into these alternative aspects could enhance your argument's depth.
task achievement
Maintain a clear focus on the essay prompt throughout your response. While it's beneficial to consider broader public health strategies, ensure your main argument directly addresses the question of whether focusing on reducing pollution and housing problems is sufficient for preventing illness.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions smoothly between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay. You've done well in structuring your essay logically, but look for opportunities to link ideas more seamlessly between sections for greater cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Consider employing varying sentence structures and syntactical patterns to add stylistic diversity to your writing, lending it a more engaging and dynamic quality.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, framing the essay's argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a strong logical structure, making your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
You've managed to maintain relevance to the topic throughout the essay, effectively addressing the question posed.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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