Some people think that qualities a person needs to become a successful in today's world cannot be learned at university To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #qualities #person #world #university

this

ambitious universe, with all the current technology, a lot believe that to be wealthy in life you have to finish university and work hard,

while

others believe that it is not a must nowadays.

While

both views have merit, I believe that to be successful a person should practice and learn regardless of the college studies.

Firstly

, I strictly disagree with the old traditional way of achieving your goals, all have learned from their families that going to school for multiple years,

then

eventually to UNI will definitely lead to wealth.

On the contrary

, nowadays we are witnessing wealthy women and men, who did not finish their studies and here they are rich.

For example

, Elon Musk, tesla's owner.

In addition

, Al Abar, Burj khalifa's owner, who is not even an Engineer, owns the tallest building in the world.

Besides

, he did not finish his grade twelve as well.

Although

those people did not graduate, the fact is that they have achieved their

desire

Fix the agreement mistake

desires

show examples

by being disciplined and always learning how to succeed.

Furthermore

, a recent study shows that students are more likely to fail simply because they are programmed to not take risks. Despite what risk a person will take in his life, it is so essential because

otherwise

, you will eventually face an issue and

fell

Wrong verb form

fall

show examples

down.

For instance

, in the USA, more than 60% of workers who completed their studies are paying debt, and don't own a house or even a car.

Thus

, they will surely face a problem and fail.

Moreover

, the college will only teach you principles and guides, it will not teach you actual life principles and how to take risks.

To conclude

, there are a lot of available sources to learn from it, it will teach you how to succeed, and how to build self-confidence, and all the mentioned are not taught in college,

hence

doing your own work and studying alone is so essential and will eventually lead you to be successful.

Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on Wed Nov 23 2022

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task response

The essay provides a clear opinion but lacks in-depth analysis and development of ideas. The examples provided are relevant but need further explanation and elaboration to fully support the main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a basic logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a need for more cohesive devices and logical progression of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that qualities a person needs to become a successful in today's world cannot be learned at university To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

With a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on producing more GM food. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?