IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

"Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspapers and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#people #description #newspapers #tv #influences #information #media
Recently,
on
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in
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 the
21s
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21st
century
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,century
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 the media shows us
a
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apply
show examples
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different
diffrenet
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different
 news from around the world and one of
these news
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this news
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are
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is
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the
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apply
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crims
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crime
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. Some
people
 believe that these details about the
crims
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crimes
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 may
causes
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cause
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bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 effect on
the
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apply
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society and should not
appeared
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appear
show examples
 to the public. In
this
 essay will
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discuss
dissucs
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discuss
that
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apply
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why I believe that
the
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apply
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criminal
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details
datails
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data
 must
be
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be shown
show examples
show
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shown
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to
Change preposition
on
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 the
new
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news
show examples
 or on
the
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apply
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TV. No doubt that
,
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apply
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 some
people
 will
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influenced
influence
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be influced
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influced
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influenced
from
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by
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 some
crimes
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crime
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 news but the most important that the citizens will know how these
criminal
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criminals
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people
 will be
judge
Wrong verb form
judged
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 by the law.
For example
, there are some
trials
Fix the agreement mistake
trial
show examples
 shows on
the
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apply
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youtube or
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social
soical
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social
 media to impact
the
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apply
show examples
people
 to do the right thing.
Moreover
, some families want to show these
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details
datails
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details
 because they want the
people
know
Add the particle
to know
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 how
the
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apply
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criminal
people
 want to do their
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crimes
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crims
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crimes
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 without any public attention to
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continue
countine
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continue
 their life
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peacefully
peacfully
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peacefully
. For
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example
exapmle
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example
, if they
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didn't
didnt
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didn't
 put these details the criminal
people
 will escape from the public
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attention
attentaion
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attention
. To
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conclude
counclude
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conclude
, the details if
show
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shown
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 to the public will know there is a
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strict
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strick
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strict
show examples
 law in the country. In
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addition
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addition
addtion
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,addtion
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 the criminal person will get
fair
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a fair
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judge
Replace the word
judgment
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 from the public. So I believe that the detailed criminal must
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 to the media.
Submitted by 37sulaiman on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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