Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

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Nowadays, television has a great impact on kids' behaviour. Some parents are not fully aware of what children watching and how they are affected by

this

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. For

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reason, I totally agree that social media and other factors contribute to violence and an increase in vulgarlgar language used by teens recently.

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essay will show some examples of these problems.

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, children in the early stages give attention to the colourful programs they are watching regardless of the matershownwn.

For example

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, some cartoons reveal action scenes in a comedy way that makes the child laugh and want to try it in real life .

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,it may lead to unexpected injuries and life-threatening .According to these problems, I believe that we should review all materials introduced to our kids' especially toddlers before letting them watch these scenes.

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, we face another serious issue with Facebook live broadcasts.

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kind of video is out of control.

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, many teenagers suffer from mental problems when they watch people committing suicide live because they are depressed .

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,recent psychological studies concerned with teen behaviour in the USA showed that 67% of teens are ready to die in the same way affected by what are they watching when they suffer from altered mood.

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,we should enhance teenagers' self-awareness to let them judge and evaluate what they are watching to avoid more violence and bad reactions. In conclusion, I believe violence has been increasing due to these uncensored materials.

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, people's bad behaviour is raised due to these videos.

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,the government should find a solution to stop these shows.

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, parents should monitor their kids' reactions and attitudes after watching or playing games including fighting scenes.

Submitted by vishwa808827 on Wed Nov 23 2022

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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