Some people Are reducing their walks however ,many health experts say that it is not good

In
this
contemporary era, many folks are avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jogging while, fitness
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
raise a concern that it is not a good idea.
This
essay intends to shed light on the reasons and the measure that can be implemented to mitigate
this
menace. To
be begin
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
with, nowadays folks
are decline
Change the verb form
are declining
are declined
show examples
the walking due to many multifarious reasons. The most prominent factor is altering lifestyle. To be more comprehended, due to their hectic work schedule, once they return from
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
they feel
energy
Correct quantifier usage
less energy
show examples
less so they avoid walking even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
want to do it.
Moreover
, people prefer to gym for jogging due to its high level of technology machines, where they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only walk but
also
can get an idea about how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
calories they have burned.
For example
,
treadmill
Add an article
the treadmill
a treadmill
show examples
is less with modern technology where you can set walking speed with
timer
Correct article usage
a timer
show examples
. These kinds of facilities
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
people more
habituate
Wrong verb form
habituated
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the machine
a machine
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
rather than walking on
street
Add an article
the street
show examples
.
Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: