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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?

#people #levels #violence #films
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It is true that nowadays people watch a lot of violent movies,
due
Correct word choice
and due
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 to
this
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 some people claim that many social issues are directly associated with these violent
activities
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.
This
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 essay will extensively discuss social
problems
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 like the torture of
women
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,
criminal
Correct word choice
and criminal
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activities
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occur
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
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 due to the increased amount of watching violent films and will certainly illustrate what measures should the Government take to alleviate these
problems
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.
To begin
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 with,
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women
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women's
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torturing
Replace the word
torture
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 is one of the major
problems
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 nowadays. Actually,
this
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 has a direct correlation with
women
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 raping.
For instance
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, according to the news
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the article
a
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 few days ago, a young girl of 13 years old has been raped by four men, which was quite devastating for our society.
Secondly
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, the number of criminal
activities
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 has been
also
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 surging
up
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apply
show examples
in recent times. Murder is one of the primary instances of criminal
activities
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. To clarify, moviemakers in
todays’
Change noun form
today’s
show examples
 world
introduces
Correct subject-verb agreement
introduce
show examples
 murders in their films to draw the attention of the public.
As a result
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, it has encouraged many
criminals
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 to get inspired and commit many criminal
activities
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.
On the other hand
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, administrative bodies could eradicate these
problems
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 by bringing up new laws.
Also
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, these laws must include the proper punishment of
criminals
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. To illustrate with an example, the government could introduce a law like
this
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 that if an individual commits a serious crime,
then
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 they will be hanged to death.
This
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 law could bring a lot of
fears
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fear
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in
Change preposition
into
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 the minds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
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 before performing any criminal
activities
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. In a nutshell, social
problems
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 are one of the major
problems
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 for all of our human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
,
this
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 essay clearly exemplified not only
problems
Use synonyms
 like the torture of
women
Use synonyms
,
criminal
Correct word choice
and criminal
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 works but
also
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 suggest that the Government must introduce proper legislation against these
criminals
Use synonyms
. In the foreseeable future, administrative bodies must make the above rule to cut down social issues.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitization
  • empathy
  • aggressive behaviors
  • imitation
  • antisocial behavior
  • normalization
  • climate of fear
  • perceptions
  • mental health
  • aggression
  • emotional regulation
  • trauma-related symptoms
  • age ratings
  • critical viewing skills
  • nonviolent entertainment
  • film industry
  • regulate
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