In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that prosperous countries are experiencing an increase in average lifespan, which may cause problems for each individual or society. Several correlated problems can be carefully discussed.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the ageing population puts a strain on
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
finance. The elderly are unable to join in
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
, which means the amount of money that government earn from tax reduces.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, the government has to spend
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
not only on
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
on
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
system and nursing homes for the aged.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, the increasing number of older
people
Use synonyms
has contributed to the decreasing number of young
people
Use synonyms
who play a significant role in
workforce
Add an article
the workforce
show examples
. The economy of a country might encounter a number of difficulties because of
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
population shortage. Take Japan as an example, the population of
working –age
Correct your spelling
working–age
show examples
teens and adults are shrinking.
This
Linking Words
means that there will be fewer
people
Use synonyms
entering
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
force, so many firms in Japan have no choice but employing abroad
workers
Use synonyms
who demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
higher pay.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
are required to work overtime, which severely affects their health and reduces productivity as well. In order to address the aforementioned issues, several measures can be taken. The
first
Linking Words
measure would be to call for working
people
Use synonyms
to save more for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
retirement. Saving a sufficient sum of money would ensure that the elderly have a better life without depending on
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
budget. Another action
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be taken is to raise the retirement age. Aged
workers
Use synonyms
are encouraged to take part in
labour
Add an article
the labour
show examples
force to alleviate the pressure on young
workers
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
growing
Add an article
the growing
show examples
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
of life can lead to concerns which are
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
burden on the government and lack of working labour and
this
Linking Words
issue can be dealt with money-saving
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
and delay in retirement age.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: