IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #people #planets #think #money
The galaxy is immense and the
planet
Earth
 is just a small part of it. Human beings can only survive on
planet
Earth
 as the living
conditions
 here are the ideal ones, like oxygen and temperature. The living
conditions
 on the
planet
 are changing with global warming, so might have a need in the future for human beings to move to other
planets
. For that, the living situation will have to be adapted to human
conditions
.
Hence
, I agree it is important to
research
 the living
conditions
 on other
planets
 like Mars.
Firstly
, the living
conditions
 of the other
planets
 are so different from the
planet
Earth
, like gravity, oxygen and temperature, all those
conditions
 affect the ability of a human being to survive. Mechanisms would have to be developed so we could survive in non-natural
conditions
.
For example
, when men went to Mars, they had to wear special clothing, developing something similar but more in a more accessible proportion for people to live in easily.
Secondly
, because of global ,warming the perfect human living condition on
Planet
Earth
 is not so perfect anymore, the
planet
 is getting warmer, the oxygen is polluted, and all
that is
 a sign to invest in
research
 so the civilizations don't die. A point is Elon Musk lately has been investing in
research
 for living on other
planets
 of the galaxy, a man ahead of his time. As a matter of fact, the
first
 paid vacation trip to Mars will be possible soon thanks to
research
 developed for scientists funded by Elon Musk. Concluding, human beings are sensitive to certain living
conditions
 and the
Planet
Earth
 is changing those
conditions
. I agree investments must be done in
research
 so life continues on other
planets
 of the galaxy.
Submitted by cuti.maia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: