People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

#people #reason #effects #individuals

It is easily observed that more

people

have trouble sleeping as many hours as they should. There are some obvious reasons why

this

phenomenon is occurring.

This

essay will discuss what induces

this

issue and what effect

this

issue brings to our society.

To begin

with, as many areas across the world have been urbanized,

people

would rather live in an urban area. What

this

means is that the more

people

gather, the more competitive they get to acquire better jobs and opportunities.

As a result

, citizens

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

insisted to spend more time on their specifications as well as their careers.

Thus

, they must reduce their sleep. Not only adults, but adolescents who want to go to a better university are

also

suffering from

this

phenomenon, getting rid of their sleeping hours, even though less sleep might be critical for them of all

people

Furthermore

, due to

this

social issue, there are some terrifying effects accruing from sleeping less. It is true that more

people

commit suicide now than in the past.

Firstly

this

anxiety-inducing problem afflicts teenagers who are not fully mature, compared to adults.

As a result

, there is a higher chance of them suffering from mental illnesses

such

as depression. As a matter of fact, among

people

of various age segments, the suicide rate of adolescents who are more exposed to

such

mental illness has increased dramatically in the recent 20 years. In conclusion, since the public is required to aim at a higher specification, they tend to underestimate the importance of getting enough sleep and reduce it.

However

this

trend should come to a halt right now so that

people

can pursue a happier and healthier life.

Submitted by johndaegeun on Thu Nov 24 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past. What do you think is the reason behind this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that a country’s wealth is dependant on the health of its citizens. Other people argue that education is a better indicator of a nation’s wealth and well-being. What is your opinion? What are some other factors that contribute to the growth and prosperity of a country?

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.