Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.

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this

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era, the perspectives are divided into two significant views. Particularly, some college undergraduates insist that they should focus on different subjects

besides

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primary ones

whereas

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others claim that a qualification is the most important thing to achieve. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides of

this

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debate

as well as

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offer my point of view. On the one hand, I suppose that getting educated in other fields

besides

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the curriculum might broaden their horizons and enhance their critical thinking skills. By acquiring information in diverse fields, they can foster a holistic understanding of the lesson.

For instance

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, a computer science learner may choose to take a course in graphic design in order to increase his work's attraction to users.

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, exploring diverse aspects can help them develop new interests and passions that may shape their future career paths.

On the other hand

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, the current educational programs are considered to be overwhelming and heavy, which causes much pressure on learners.

As a result

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, many university students tend to suffer from mental illness because of having to absorb a large amount of knowledge in a short amount of time.

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why the idea of not attending unnecessary classes is advocated greatly.

Moreover

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, they are supposed to spend their leisure time upgrading themselves

instead

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For instance

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, high school students who are often overwhelmed are advised to join the gym or local table tennis club to release stress and gain much positive energy. In conclusion, many people reflect that absorbing other subjects apart from core ones but in my opinion, I think they should invest their effort in learning primary lessons to get a highly recognized degree that makes them a potential candidate when applying for a job in any organization.

ieltswritingpracticedlThu Jun 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a clear structure. However, the logical progression between ideas could be improved. For example, there could be smoother transitions between arguments and more cohesive links between sentences within paragraphs.

task achievement

Make sure to present more specific examples and details to support main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing. For instance, elaborate more on how exploring other subjects impacts future career prospects or mental well-being.

task achievement

Pay attention to clarity and precision in your ideas. Avoid vague expressions like 'many people reflect' and instead, use specific and direct statements. This enhances the comprehensibility and impact of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined, providing a complete response to the task.

task achievement

The essay covers both perspectives of the debate and makes a clear stand, which shows a good understanding of the task.

task achievement

The use of examples such as the computer science learner and the overwhelmed high school students adds relatable content to the essay.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuess both these views and give your own opinion.

18.Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think government should spent money on languages that are dying and a few number of people uses them, some think this is a waste of resources. Discuss both views and tell what's your take on this issue.

The hart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

Many people think technological devices such as smartphones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?