Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #methods #treatment #it’s #funds #education #culture

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It is said that the authority ought to invest in the healthcare sector and provide free of charge medical services to citizens,

whereas

Linking Words

some argue that the expenditure should

use

Wrong verb form

be used

show examples

for the protection of local culture and education.

However

Linking Words

, I entirely concur with the former statement based on the ageing population and the emergence of the "Super Virus". First and foremost, spending expenses on the medical sector can diminish the problems brought on by the ageing population,

such

Linking Words

as the lack of hospital and medical staff. It is true that there is countless trouble

due to

Linking Words

the ageing population, including the patients suffering from long-term diseases, like high blood pressure, and coronary-related diseases skyrocketing.

Likewise

Linking Words

, the demand for medical services will

then

Linking Words

escalate spectacularly.

For instance

Linking Words

, the government ought to put

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

effort into constructing new hospitals, and training more healthcare professionals so as to mitigate the obstacles. It is undoubted that medical needs among citizens surge significantly, and

thus

Linking Words

the council should prioritize resources in healthcare sectors.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the emergence of the "Super Virus" has created an urge to allocate resources in the medical area. As we all know, the overuse of antibiotics caused the new super microorganism to emerge. The COVID-19 pandemic is a perfect example,

billion

Fix the agreement mistake

billions

show examples

of individuals suffering from

this

Linking Words

disease and

fortunately

Add a comma

fortunately,

show examples

new vaccinations

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

invented to cure

this

Linking Words

illness.

It is clear that

Linking Words

if the authority does not provide funds to the medical organization, they are unable to invent new medication, vaccination or even treatment for some diseases caused by genes and

thus

Linking Words

hinder the well-being of society.

In addition

Linking Words

, spending expenditure on promoting public health,

such

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as advertising, can raise our health awareness, like personal hygiene, washing our hands frequently and wearing disposable surgical masks to prevent viruses or bacteria from attacking our body's immune system. On

Correct article usage

the

show examples

whole, the authority ought to provide funds to support medical research projects,

as well as

Linking Words

, promote public health in the community in order to improve residents' standard of well-being. In a nutshell, I strongly stand by allocating resources to the medical sector should be prioritized rather than other public sectors.

Submitted by clara on Thu Nov 24 2022

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general

The essay demonstrates a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments to support the opinion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, more specific examples could be included to enhance the coherence and persuasiveness of the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

355 words

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Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people believe that in a city,the best way to travel is by car,while other people argue that bicycle are a better way of travelling in city. discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge, in the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. do you agree or disagree?

Handwriting today is less formal than it was in the past. What are the causes of this change? Is it a positive or negative development?

You are moving out of your rental apartment. Write a letter to your neighbour to say goodbye. In your letter say 1. when and where do you move? 2. why do you move out? 3. how do you feel about it?

Robots and artificial intelligence one being develop to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?