Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People
have different views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
universities should make room for the best
students
with top
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
marks or approve all
people
who have ever studied badly at school. While a number of
people
believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
students
are better, I would argue that the rest of
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
should be enrolled. On the one hand, there are various compelling reasons why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
students
should be admitted
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
universities.
Firstly
, these
students
have a large knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their majors.
This
helps them
contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
significantly
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their subjects and schools can create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outstanding graduates.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
students
could bring a host of benefits to schools. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, after graduating,
students
may come back
universities
Change preposition
to universities
show examples
where they have ever learnt so as to serve
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
teaching.
On the other hand
, I would side with those who believe that all ages
people
can be
Correct your spelling
missed
admission
admissed
Correct your spelling
admired
at school. The
first
reason is that everybody all
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the right to study.
Although
they are not good at some majors, they have progressive spirits. Another reason is that the patient
people
should be accepted. In conclusion, while there are some benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
students
, I still agree with those who think that a
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • merit-based
  • competitive environment
  • academic standards
  • innovation
  • diversity
  • mature students
  • equitable
  • inclusive admission policies
  • educational disadvantages
  • holistic admission process
  • extracurricular achievements
  • non-traditional students
  • equal opportunities
  • societal progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: