IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #education #hunger #food #aid
A number of
people
 advocate that formation is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
addressing
hunger
 worldwide whereas others believe that the answer is in
food
 assistance. I personally believe that education can solve
hunger
. Both sides will be discussed in
this
 essay.
First
 of all, starvation worldwide is one of the most important
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 of humanity since there are a lot of poor countries where
people
 can't find
food
.
Thus
 residents of these countries die from famine. In order to help other countries in case of
hunger
, there
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to be a group of
people
, who will help those in need. Governments should invest in a fund to help the hungry and help with all efforts.
Therefore
, the hungry will be reduced because they will be constantly helped by the authorities.
However
,
food
 aid and continued investment in the famine do not guarantee continued hungry.
People
 will be provided with
food
 from the authorities and from various foundations that help fight
hunger
, but it doesn’t teach
people
 to find
food
.
Therefore
, education can give them
this
 knowledge that will help to ensure them. As they say "give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat all day and drink beer". In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, educating
people
 can fight with hungry since they will have the knowledge that will help them provide for themselves. Providing
people
 with
food
 is good, but
people
 have to learn to add
food
 themselves.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: