Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements and this sets a bad example to the young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
At the moment, it is suggested that young ones
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
the
adverse factors Change preposition
by the
by
fascinating Change preposition
of
Correct your spelling
superstars
super stars
who Correct your spelling
superstars
has
gotten plenty of Change the verb form
have
interests
rather than they actually had. I personally agree that Fix the agreement mistake
interest
the
superstars give Correct article usage
apply
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
affect
on teenagers since they do not good things for popularity.
Replace the word
effect
To begin
with, famous people
normally provide Correct your spelling
up-to-date
up-to-dated
style for the youth generation, using their attractive physical features Correct your spelling
up-to-date
such
as suitable body proportions and sophisticated makeup. These offered gorgeous and fancy products' information have valuable influences for someones
who is Fix the agreement mistake
someone
into
Change preposition
in
fashion
industry or who try to gain new trends Add an article
the fashion
knowledge
for preparing their achievements in the future. Correct word choice
and knowledge
For example
, the
Kim who was Correct article usage
apply
the
one of the best Change the article
apply
celebrities
as designer
always research Add an article
a designer
the
quality Correct article usage
apply
clothes
Change preposition
of clothes
for
suitable each famous person because the designer insists Change preposition
to
the
importance of Change preposition
on the
celebrities
' intense influences for
Change preposition
on
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
youngster
. Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
Therefore
, likewise
this
case, it can be seen that celebrities
absolutely have
Add the particle
tohave
lead
Wrong verb form
led
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
's trends.
However
, popular stars' effects are not always positive for young ones. That is
because, as mentioned above, those celebrities
tend to remain beautiful lifestyles so, young men tend to follow their lives. Thus
, minors started heavy makeup at the
primary schools and adolescents' consumption patterns had changed to Correct article usage
apply
purchase
useless items, even though those goods are expensive. Wrong verb form
purchasing
For instance
, in Korea in the year 2010s
, one superstar Change the article
the 2010s
had
contracted the North-Face company which produces high prices outers, after Unnecessary verb
apply
then
, most youngster
bought Change to a plural noun
youngsters
it
and wore Correct pronoun usage
them
at
Correct pronoun usage
them at
the
school. Followed the other problem is, if some students could not have those items, they had been discriminated Correct article usage
apply
by
Change preposition
against by
peers
. Correct pronoun usage
their peers
That is
because,
I feel that famous Remove the comma
apply
people
could attack young people
's life as
vicious effects.
In conclusion, Change preposition
with
although
celebrities
having
positive influences Wrong verb form
have
for
students and youth generations, they are more likely to bring Change preposition
on
negative
Add an article
the negative
a negative
situation
to the student's Fix the agreement mistake
situations
lifestyle
. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
Therefore
, it is convincing that the relevant entertainment businesses should control the youngster's industry like
well-refined.Change preposition
apply
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