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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Art classes, like painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, so they should be compulsory subject in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Art
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 classes, including painting and drawing, play a significant role in
education
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. Some believe they should be compulsory in high
schools
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, just like
subjects
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such
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 as mathematics and science.
While
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 there are compelling arguments on both sides, I firmly believe that
art
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education
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 should be an essential part of the curriculum, though not necessarily mandatory for all
students
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.
Firstly
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,
art
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 fosters creativity and self-expression, which are crucial skills for
students
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’ personal and academic development. Unlike traditional
subjects
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 that focus on logic and analysis,
art
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 encourages imaginative thinking, which can be beneficial in various career fields
such
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 as design, marketing, and even engineering.
For instance
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, architects rely on artistic skills to create innovative designs.
Secondly
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, engaging in artistic activities has been proven to improve mental well-being. Studies show that painting and drawing can help
students
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 reduce stress and anxiety, providing an emotional outlet for self-expression. In today's fast-paced world, where academic pressure is high, incorporating
art
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 into the curriculum can help maintain
students
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' mental balance.
On the other hand
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, making
art
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 compulsory for all
students
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 may not be practical. Some
students
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 may lack interest or talent in artistic activities, leading to disengagement.
Instead
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 of forcing everyone to take
art
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,
schools
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 could offer it as an elective subject, allowing those with a passion for it to develop their skills
further
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while
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 giving others the freedom to focus on
subjects
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 more aligned with their future careers.
Additionally
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, many
schools
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 struggle with limited resources, and prioritizing
art
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education
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 over core
subjects
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 like mathematics and science could affect academic performance in crucial areas.
Thus
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,
while
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art
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 is important, its integration should be balanced with other
subjects
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. In conclusion,
art
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education
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 is undoubtedly valuable in fostering creativity, emotional well-being, and personal growth.
However
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, making it a compulsory subject for all high school
students
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 may not be the best approach.
Instead
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,
schools
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 should encourage and promote
art
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 by offering it as an elective, ensuring that
students
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 who are passionate about it have the opportunity to explore and develop their talents.

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task achievement
Consider refining the arguments for why art education should not be compulsory, possibly by including examples of alternative creative outlets or discussing the benefits of having a choice in subjects.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure to effectively link ideas between paragraphs and use more varied cohesive devices.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced argument by examining both sides of the debate, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your thoughts, contributing to logical flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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