IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Unpaid Community service should be a compulsory part of the high school programs (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to young children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As company social responsibility (CSR)
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
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 obligatory for any corporation, unpaid
community
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 service for younger
people
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 is
also
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 required to be adopted as
compulsory
Add an article
a compulsory
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 course in
education
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the education
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 curriculum. In my point of view, it is needed to become a mandatory
program
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 because it will grow the high schooler’s empathy and compassion within
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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.
However
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, the course has to be monitored carefully to ensure that it will run appropriately.
To begin
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,
community
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 service is usually an optional
program
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high school.
However
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, it gives students
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 experience that can be very useful in
their
Change the word
the
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 future.
For instance
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, when the students work for
charity
Correct article usage
a charity
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Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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, they will learn that
people
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 have to help each other, a value that seems easy but
sometimes
Add a missing verb
is sometimes
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 difficult in the practical.
Moreover
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, improving their neighbourhood could be a similar story, these young
people
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 can experience the art of living in
the
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apply
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real
society
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. It is necessary because
,
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apply
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 recently many high schoolers are just living in their virtual world called “the Internet”.
However
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, the
practical
Replace the word
practices
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 of
this
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program
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 could be harder than it seems. Handling a bunch of young
people
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 is not an easy task for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teachers. They should be helped by
the
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apply
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other stakeholders
such
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 as parents, local public figures, local organizations, and so on. So, the integrated
community
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program
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 could be implemented well, In short, free
community
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 service should be considered as the part of
educational
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the educational
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 system, it will increase several positive values
such
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 as empathy, compassion, and tolerance, so the students can adapt easier
in
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
Use synonyms
 in the future. While the monitoring mechanism should be conducted not only by teachers but
also
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 by the local public figures that have influence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.

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