If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

#study #opportunity #choice

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Many

people

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in the world have

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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that

different

Add a missing verb

are different

show examples

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

their childhood dream.

For

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show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, I dreamed to become a doctor when I was a kid.

Therefore

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, if I have a

second

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chance to change my

study

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, I want to

study

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in medical major to fulfil my dream.

However

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, it is not only because of my personal ambition, I have several reasons that make me want to work in public health.

First

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Add an article

a study

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

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medical

Correct article usage

the medical

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sector would give you knowledge about how our body works. It could really help us to maintain a healthy

live

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life

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and avoid unhealthy

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

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like smoking and eating

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

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. It could happen

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apply

show examples

since we know in detail what the risk of smoking

such

Linking Words

as how

the

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apply

show examples

nicotine affects our organs.

Secondly

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, when you graduate from medical school and become a doctor, you can help many

people

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. You can go to rural areas where

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical resources are very needed.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, your contribution is not only about helping sick

people

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and

give

Wrong verb form

giving

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advice for a healthy

live

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life

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, but

also

Linking Words

in conducting research that

have

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has

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a large impact

such

Linking Words

as improving the quality of medicine in some

Correct your spelling

chronic

chronical

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chronic

disease. We already experienced the impact, when we face the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020

Remove the comma

apply

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when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical research has a significant influence to handle the virus. To sum up, I will choose to

study

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medical course, because it can help many

people

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. Actually, Every job role could help communities in different ways and have

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own contribution, but in my opinion, a doctor could be very helpful in the post-pandemic era, which we are facing recently.

Submitted by rahmanda.nofal on Thu Nov 24 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

Shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drinks that have been scientifically proven to be bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Is it better to take a gap year to travel or to go straight to university? Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

You are planning a tour with your family to a tourist destination. Write a letter to a hotel manager asking about the availability of accommodation for the days you will be here and also tell him what type of room you prefer.

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country, while some people think there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than economic progress?