If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

#study #opportunity #choice

Many

people

in the world have

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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that

different

Add a missing verb

are different

show examples

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

their childhood dream.

For

Change preposition

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, I dreamed to become a doctor when I was a kid.

Therefore

, if I have a

second

chance to change my

study

, I want to

study

in medical major to fulfil my dream.

However

, it is not only because of my personal ambition, I have several reasons that make me want to work in public health.

First

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a study

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study

Wrong verb form

studying

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medical

Correct article usage

the medical

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sector would give you knowledge about how our body works. It could really help us to maintain a healthy

live

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life

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and avoid unhealthy

habit

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habits

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like smoking and eating

fast-food

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fast food

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. It could happen

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apply

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since we know in detail what the risk of smoking

such

as how

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nicotine affects our organs.

Secondly

, when you graduate from medical school and become a doctor, you can help many

people

. You can go to rural areas where

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical resources are very needed.

Furthermore

, your contribution is not only about helping sick

people

and

give

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giving

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advice for a healthy

live

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life

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, but

also

in conducting research that

have

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has

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a large impact

such

as improving the quality of medicine in some

Correct your spelling

chronic

chronical

Correct your spelling

chronic

disease. We already experienced the impact, when we face the Covid-19 pandemic in 2020

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apply

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when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medical research has a significant influence to handle the virus. To sum up, I will choose to

study

medical course, because it can help many

people

. Actually, Every job role could help communities in different ways and have

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

own contribution, but in my opinion, a doctor could be very helpful in the post-pandemic era, which we are facing recently.

Submitted by rahmanda.nofal on Thu Nov 24 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

101.In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Scientist ssy that in the future, humanity will speak the same language. Do you think this is a positive or negative social development

The internet was probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree

World would be better place if more women were in leadership positions . To what extent you agree or disagree .

some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in correct place. What is your opinion about this?