Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people. Other think that it is causing the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern world,
technology
is part of
people
’s lives, some
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
that the group of techs
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
recently
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
inequality between wealthy
people
and poor
people
but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
that
technology
is closing
this
gap.
This
essay will examine both sides of the idea and
then
I will explain my opinion about
this
. The
internet
is used by
people
who can access it. If they do not have any equipment or
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
, they will separate from the cash flow on the
internet
. It is true that advanced technologies have affected inequality issues in our society.
People
may seek their way to wealth creation by using the online network as a tool.
For example
, online shopping platforms are the popular approach, and they are used by many
people
all over the world currently
such
as Lazada, Alibaba, and Shopee. With these things,
people
could earn more benefits than
people
who do not have an
internet
device.
Conversely
, The most powerful implement for enhancing somebody’s life is the
internet
. In the past, specific knowledge or training
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
difficult to find and study if you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
not afford them but these days they have plenty of courses or
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
show examples
that you can learn on computers which are already connecting the
internet
signal. They could improve their skills through these invented things and
then
become skilled labourers which can have high compensation
as a result
. To illustrate, computer services particularly in schools and universities might be one of the cheapest ways for
people
who want to develop their financial status.
Consequently
, the gap between rich
people
and poor
people
is decreased by the range of
technology
. In conclusion, both views have their own reason,
however
, in my opinion, I believe that the
internet
or many
technology
devices can close the gap in society.
Moreover
,
this
equipment should be provided for everybody by the governments to support them to succeed in a business or affairs and encourage them to improve their life quality.
Submitted by pnchanikan on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a single clear main idea. This will help the reader to follow your arguments more easily. Also, make sure to use enough linking words to create a smoother flow between different points.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure that your ideas are fully developed and supported with specific details and examples. Avoid making broad statements without providing concrete evidence or illustrations.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great for maintaining a well-structured response.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to present a balanced discussion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic classes
  • Economic opportunities
  • Democratizes access
  • Technological gadgets
  • Advanced educational tools
  • Remote work
  • Online courses
  • Digital literacy
  • Digital inclusion
  • Underprivileged communities
  • Technological advancements
  • Cutting-edge technologies
  • Economic standing
  • Quality of life
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