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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #world
Some individuals consider that in the contemporary world we are more dependent on each other. Others count that
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 have become more independent. In my part, I will discuss both views.
To begin
 with, the world is evolving like people.
Day
 after
day
 humans
invent
Change the verb form
invents
show examples
different technical items.
However
, in my opinion, modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.
Besides
, life is becoming more complex and difficult.
Also
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living rose very sharply and
thus
 humans especially teenagers need and depend on their parents.
For instance
, if teenagers want to buy anything, they should need their parents.
In addition
, nowadays, technology is developing very much and many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 especially youngsters have become addicted to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone.
Moreover
,
day
 after
day
 a variety of different games are coming out. It affects the psychology of adolescents and they become independent.
Although
, I would
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 those who believe that humans are more independent these days. In most countries, families are becoming more independent and many more youngsters are choosing to live alone, which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to.
Furthermore
, in the context of
developed
Add an article
the developed
show examples
 world, we
also
 have more freedom to travel and live far from our hometowns. In conclusion, my own view is that we are more independent than ever, because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 these times, we have freedom.
Besides
, we have a personal space than in the past. In the past, everything was according to the law of the parents and they did not allow much,
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 now everything is different.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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