IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it is essential to spend much money on a wedding ‎celebration, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.‎

#people #money #‎celebration
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some countries have the tradition to have a big
celebration
Use synonyms
 for a wedding party while others don't. In Asian countries, it is common that
people
Use synonyms
 to celebrate weddings with big huge parties with a lot of guests.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in western countries tend to have a small yet intimate wedding party. I believe that both traditions are not wrong since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
usually they have different cultures for celebrating wedding parties while there are pros and cons for each option. In the case of Indonesia,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to celebrate weddings hugely, sometimes the couple could invite up to one thousand guests depending on the ethnicity that the wedding party is based .
For example
Linking Words
, when my bataknese family is celebrating a wedding. They usually invite all of the family members even someone that they are not close to, and they celebrate it with traditional dances and songs which might cost a lot of fortune.
However
Linking Words
, it usually depends on the parents whether they want to celebrate the wedding in a traditional way or not.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, western
people
Use synonyms
 prefer small yet intimate parties which only involve close friends and family members. In my view, I think a small wedding
celebration
Use synonyms
 does not that it will not be memorable. On contrary, I believe the couple could enjoy an intimate moment with
people
Use synonyms
 that they are close with.
In addition
Linking Words
, they could spend their savings on honeymoon or housing instalments. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 might spend their money on wedding celebrations depending on the views and traditions that they are celebrating with. While both small and big
celebration
Use synonyms
 has their own pros and cons, I think what matters is how the couple will get an amazing memory from the wedding
celebration
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by irsrashad3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: