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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

people naturally resist making cahnges in their lives. what kind of problems can this cause ? what solutions can you suggest.

#people #cahnges #lives
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People
Use synonyms
 are always frightened to make a decision in their life if they have no experience with
this
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 before.
Additionally
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, as human nature, they don’t want to feel insecure and have no confidence to meet with new environments like new society, new jobs, etc. Undoubtedly they are still so stubborn to change and want to be stable in their lives without any ambitions.
Then
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, all of
this
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 could cause much trouble.
This
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 essay will
first
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 explore several problems of
this
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 issue,
then
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 examine possible,
solutions
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 and
finally
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, evaluate those
solutions
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. Admittedly, when a person fears stepping out of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
his comfort
her comfort
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 zone, the accustomed place for each person
:
Remove the comma
apply
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 might have a problem related to personal development. As for someone's habits when they decide to stay in a hometown or in a primitive society, their routines are always the same.
Thus
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, their personalities are consists of identical resources which are from
people
Use synonyms
 in the area where they live.
Moreover
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, They may lack world knowledge due to their nature which
fears
Correct subject-verb agreement
fear
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to change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 new things in their lives,
therefore
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 they have never spent a lifetime in other countries. It is mean they rarely gain knowledge of other cultures too. In
solutions
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, the way to fix the problems is that
people
Use synonyms
 should be open-minded in communication and should be flexible with every kind of situation.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 to other countries can lead to a better quality of life. And
then
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, by living overseas, you can gain learning new language skills and
also
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 different foods and general cultural differences. To conclude, there are two main problems with these issues which are personal development and lack of knowledge around the world. As for
solutions
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, I believe that the practical ways to tackle them.
People
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 should seek scholarships or move to a new country for jobs because there are cheaper than other
solutions
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.
Submitted by pnchanikan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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