IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #methods #treatment #it’s #funds #education #culture
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Some individual thinks that free
health
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care
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service
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 should be offered by the
government
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 meanwhile others think, the
government
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 cannot achieve the quality of treatment so spending those on
education
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 and culture would be useful. I would argue that the
government
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 should try to give free quality
health
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care
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service
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services
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 and
education
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 to all the
people
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.
Firstly
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, If
health
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 services become free,
people
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 would feel less stressed to save
money
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 for their
health
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care
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 expenses.
In contrast
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,
health
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care
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 become a business today so making them free and offering medicines for free would effectively decrease the poverty rate of the
country
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.
Moreover
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, every
country
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 needs young blood to be more strong, more motivated, and more intelligent. Though, it can be achieved by giving quality
education
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 for free; Equality will be maintained among the
people
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. Many countries nowadays, rather than investing their
money
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 in
health
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care
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 and
education
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, are spending
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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vast sums of their
money
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 on the military;
Government
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 is running out of funds. When a
country
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 does not provide
education
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 and
health
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care
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 for free,
people
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 are going to develop a mindset of saving a lot of
money
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospital and educational expenses. On top of that, the upcoming generations may lose the social
service
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 mentality and their goal is to save
money
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. In conclusion, I would argue that
,
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apply
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 providing
education
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 and
health
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care
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service
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 for free, would certainly enhance the
country
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's economy and the
people
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’s mindset of social
service
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.
Submitted by usprem02 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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