People Believe That Individuals Who Make A Lot Of Money Are The Most Successful. Others Say That Those Who Contribute To Society Like Scientists, Teacher Are The Most Successful. Discuss Both And Give Your Opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays it has been said that people with a lot of money are successful. Masses believe that earning a lot of capital might make them successful but
others
Use synonyms
believe in scientists, and teachers are the most successful. In my opinion,
individuals
Use synonyms
who are contributing to society are successful because they are helping in the advancement of the
country
Use synonyms
. To start with, people called themselves rich if they have a good bank balance. To explain
this
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
start living leisurely lifestyles with the wealth they have earned and show
others
Use synonyms
with their clothing, accessories or cars that they are now more successful than
others
Use synonyms
and they can afford anything. To add more, with money comes great responsibility, but many can handle the responsibility and end up losing everything.
As a result
Linking Words
, people must think before spending the penny.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, contributing to society can make
individuals
Use synonyms
famous. In another word, professionals who are contributing to the growth of the
country
Use synonyms
with full dedication will get more respect than
others
Use synonyms
. Their name will be remembered in the world for the work they have done.
For example
Linking Words
, Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was a famous scientist, his contribution to the field of science for making the
first
Linking Words
rocket in the
country
Use synonyms
after that many followed in his footstep to become like him. In the end, Pupils should not think about the money they can make their name with the work they have done in their field. To conclude, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
with more contribution are successful because they help the
country
Use synonyms
and in
return
Add a comma
,return
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
will award them for the work they have done in their domain.
Submitted by dipanshu.kalra0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: