People Believe That Individuals Who Make A Lot Of Money Are The Most Successful. Others Say That Those Who Contribute To Society Like Scientists, Teacher Are The Most Successful. Discuss Both And Give Your Opinion?

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Nowadays it has been said that people with a lot of money are successful. Masses believe that earning a lot of capital might make them successful but
others
believe in scientists, and teachers are the most successful. In my opinion,
individuals
who are contributing to society are successful because they are helping in the advancement of the
country
. To start with, people called themselves rich if they have a good bank balance. To explain
this
,
individuals
start living leisurely lifestyles with the wealth they have earned and show
others
with their clothing, accessories or cars that they are now more successful than
others
and they can afford anything. To add more, with money comes great responsibility, but many can handle the responsibility and end up losing everything.
As a result
, people must think before spending the penny.
On the other hand
, contributing to society can make
individuals
famous. In another word, professionals who are contributing to the growth of the
country
with full dedication will get more respect than
others
. Their name will be remembered in the world for the work they have done.
For example
, Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was a famous scientist, his contribution to the field of science for making the
first
rocket in the
country
after that many followed in his footstep to become like him. In the end, Pupils should not think about the money they can make their name with the work they have done in their field. To conclude, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
individuals
with more contribution are successful because they help the
country
and in
return
Add a comma
,return
show examples
the
country
will award them for the work they have done in their domain.
Submitted by dipanshu.kalra0 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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