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Band 5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individual and society.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #society
In
this
 modern era, it is considered that social
media
 deeply influenced
society
. Some people argue that social sites and
apps
 have negatively affected
society
 as well as
Add an article
an individual
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
oppose
Correct pronoun usage
themoppose
show examples
. I would like to give my own view
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 heated argument; everyone had
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social applications.
To begin
 with,
this
 is
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
 era and a person who is not using digital
media
 is not able to compete with
society
. Using social
apps
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time, as all the business and official deals are done via different
apps
.
Moreover
, official meetings and transactions are
also
 executed by using
different
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a different
show examples
 online
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
.
For instance
, in Pakistan at
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 all the administrative work is managed and updated by using
Punjab
Correct article usage
the Punjab
show examples
 SIS app. By keeping
such
 advantages every field is launching its own
apps
 to work efficiently.
On the other hand
, excessive
use
 of anything is bad for health.
Correct your spelling
Overuse
show examples
Over
Correct your spelling
Overuse
show examples
use
 of social
media
 has made people
Correct your spelling
addicted
addiction
addictor
Correct your spelling
addicted
.
Public
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The public
show examples
 is more
introverts
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 due to
extra
Correct article usage
the extra
show examples
use
 of mobile phones and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technology.
In addition
 to it,
human
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the human
a human
show examples
 does not like to spend leisure time with each other. Rather than spending their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing online games and making videos on Tiktok, people should enjoy
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 of their fellows. To exemplify, a large number of users died every year due to selfies fever by accidents.
This
 trend should be banned and there should be moderate
use
 of social
media
. In conclusion, it is needless to say social
media
 is part of our lives. Advancement of technology has made our lives much easier and cheaper than earlier and
launching
Correct article usage
the launching
show examples
 of new
apps
 is
also
 thriving which is
official
Change the word
officially
show examples
 beneficial for us. Meanwhile, extra
use
 of social
media
 is
also
 having
bad
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a bad
show examples
Replace the word
effect
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on
society
, which should be minimized to some level.
Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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