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Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum. How far do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #team #place #school #curriculum
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
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 activities, which
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
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 one or more players with an aspect of competition,
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
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 to have a huge place in our schools' program. Some people may think that these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
sports
 are not necessary, but in my opinion, we can't just exclude them from the school curriculum.
First
 of all, doing a sport is highly important for
children
 who are in need of improving their health, both mentally and physically.
Sports
 can be elemental for preventing diseases
,
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apply
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 because constant movement provides a healthy lifestyle and an escape from obesity. From my experiences as a medical student, I can say that obese
children
 have a problem
of
Change preposition
apply
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not participating in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 challenging activities. Other than that, as I mentioned, being part of a team can be extremely beneficial for
children
 in a
mentally
Change the word
mental
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 way. One can learn how to be a team player, or even a leader, and
also
 participating in team
sports
 can provide
social
Add an article
the social
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 benefit of having more friends. Apart from
this
, involvement in a sport which requires one person to do it can be highly educational for a child. These
children
 have a chance to learn from their mistakes, but
also
 they can learn that working hard provides the achievements that they want. When I was a pupil, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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experienced that being involved in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of
sports
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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made me a successful student later on. Overall, I definitely think that
sports
, especially ones which involve competition, have crucial advantages in a child's life and education. They have a major place in the education system but I
also
 think that it can be expanded in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that more
children
 would have a chance to gain the benefits that I have mentioned before.
Submitted by yigitakyolmd on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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