IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balance diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #exercise #health #balance #diet
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In
this
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 post-pandemic era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 aware
to
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of
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 their health and want to live
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
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.
Therefore
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, there are many debates in choosing the best method to keep the
body
Use synonyms
 in good condition. Some
people
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 said that exercise is more important, while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think
diet
Use synonyms
 will affect more to
people
Use synonyms
 healthiness. Personally, I prefer to increase my physical activity by doing sports rather than being
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
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 about
diet
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.
However
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,
this
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and elaborate
each
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on each
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 of them.
First
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, it is obvious that physical activity is necessary
to
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for
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 every human being
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because it keeps our metabolism running well. without it,
our
Change the word
the
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 calories that we eat will be stored as fat and make us
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 overweight. Since obesity is not healthy, we have to keep our metabolism by doing some exercises or sports. Exercise will burn the calories into fuel
to
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for
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 our
body
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,
furthermore
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, it will
also
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 burn our fat
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 could become the source of disease.
In
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On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand,
people
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 who prefer
diet
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mechanism
Fix the agreement mistake
mechanisms
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 is keeping their metabolism running smoothly by limiting the calories that
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 consume. By monitoring every
ingredients
Change to a singular noun
ingredient
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 of the food,
diet
Use synonyms
 avoid the
body
Use synonyms
 to store any fat. it
also
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 maintains the sugar level in our
body
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, so
people
Use synonyms
 will not face the risk of diabetes. To sum up, both methods can lead us to
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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live
Replace the word
life
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, each viewpoint has its own consideration and logical reason.
However
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, we should not debate too much about the method, because it would be better if we apply both theories
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 since each of them has many positive impacts.
Submitted by rahmanda.nofal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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