Nowadays people depend on technology for leisure activities. Is this a positive or negative development?
Technological advancement has encouraged the proliferation of ample high-tech means of recreation. From my perspective,
although
some regarded this
phenomenon as positive, I deemed it more detrimental.
It goes without saying that the application of technology
in pastime activities is favourable in terms of its diverse categories of entertainment and widespread accessibility. Obviously, nowadays, people
have a variety of choices regarding the preferred means of entertainment, ranging from films, games or performances. Thus
, this
diversification would definitely enrich people
's mental and spiritual lives. Moreover
, due to
their availability, the widespread accessibility of technological leisure activities has been enhanced. For example
, people
owing
digital devices Verb problem
using
such
as smartphones can access both online and offline games at ease within their convenience.
However
, I opine that the dependence on technology
for free time amusement is more disadvantageous due to
its adverse impacts on health as well as
on intimate relationships in a community. Regarding the former, it is true that recreational activities based on technology
mostly require people
to sit for long periods of time, which promotes a sedentary lifestyle. As a consequence
, the number of individuals suffering from eye strain or obesity has increased significantly. Concerning the second drawback, the high level of participation in technological entertainment poses the risk of reducing the quality of face-to-face interaction, thereby damaging the strong bond among people
including friends and family.
In conclusion, the increasing reliance on technology
for recreation is beneficial in terms of its variety as well as
accessibility. However
, I take the view that related health issues and potential
Correct article usage
the potential
of harming
interpersonal relationships are worth more concern.Change preposition
to harm
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Task Response
The essay provides a complete and well-articulated response to the task question, expressing both positive and negative views. Ensure to present a clear and balanced argument, and make sure to address all aspects of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good, with clear progression from one idea to the next. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit in presenting the writer's standpoint. The supporting points are well-developed, but more cohesive devices could be used for smoother transitions between ideas.