Television has diminished the free time of people. It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Since
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
few decades, television has been the main source of entertainment for everyone. While many
people
use it to relax or enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
it during
show examples
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their free
time
, others believe that it has eaten up
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
of
people
and has made them lethargic. I wholeheartedly agree with the latter one, and
this
essay will elaborate on why it has diminished
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
and how it is making
people
lazy. In recent times, television has become an addiction for almost everyone. In
this
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
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fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
and hectic life, everybody looks for a quick source of entertainment which is provided by the
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
. Over a period of
time
,
people
get connected with the content being consumed and do not even realize that they spend almost all of their free
time
in front of it. It has become a vicious cycle that the more they consume,
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
will be their addiction to stick to their screens, which leaves no
time
for their family or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal hobbies.
Furthermore
, with the introduction of over-the-top content from the platforms like Netflix,
people
have reduced socializing which is making
people
lazy. Earlier,
for instance
,
people
used to go out on weekends to enjoy
with
Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
show examples
their family and friends,
however
, now everyone is
leaned
Wrong verb form
leaning
show examples
toward the culture of
binge watching
Add a hyphen
binge-watching
show examples
where they complete the whole series of content in a single go.
This
has led to various mental health concerns like stress and anxiety, which
subsequently
also
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
in lethargic behaviour. In conclusion, just like any other thing in
this
world, television has its own boons and banes. If it is consumed for a limited period of
time
, it could be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
excellent source of entertainment,
however
, its
Correct your spelling
prolonged
prolongued
Correct your spelling
prolonged
use can be very dangerous and may negatively impact one's quality of life.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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