Some people believe that young people benefit from working while studying at school or university. Others think that young people will achieve more by focussing on their studies. Discuss both of the view points and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. days?

#people #benefit #school #university #studies #points

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There are split opinions regarding

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whether

wether

wethear

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whether

the youths should work while they are attending

the

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apply

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university

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or devote themselves

studying

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to studying

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. I believe that if they get

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to engage

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engage

Wrong verb form

engaged

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in different jobs, they will get a better understanding of

the

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apply

show examples

life and practical subject that have already learned. On the one hand, the youths that get involved in different

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

part

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part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will enhance their social skills. It is

undoutable

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undeniable

, that the youngsters getting to know people from outside their friend's circle, will broaden their horizons.

this

Linking Words

is because,making

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acquaintance

acquitance

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acquaintance

with

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different

diffrent

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different

personality and characters, help the youth,that

are

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show examples

lack of soft skills,to understand and learn how to communicate and to react

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apply

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when they get into a new group.

moreover

Linking Words

, the working experience they get from

part

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part-time

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time

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job, while they are studying, it is

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show examples

gold

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golden

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opportunity for their future career.Due to the stiff

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competition

competiton

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competition

the

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apply

show examples

employers expect

from

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apply

show examples

university

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graduates to have experience, when they get the job. The lack of

time

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, do not permit the firm to invest

time

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and energy

learning

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in learning

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new worker

such

Linking Words

as how to manage the

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

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therefore

Linking Words

, the small working experience

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is beneficial for the youth.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the syllabus is getting

everyday

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every day

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more busy and full, which

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not enable the teens to have leisure

time

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and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working

this

Linking Words

may lead to neglect

their

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of their

show examples

studies.there is a tremendous burden that the students have to shoulder when it comes to the subjects they have to study. Realising the importance of being diligent and the

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cut-throat

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cut throat

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cutthroat

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competition, they have to learn harder and

as a result

Linking Words

do not have

time

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to unwind

their

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from their

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stress, which may cause even nervous breakdowns.

In addition

Linking Words

, money is the

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drug

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drog

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drug

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we all are addicted

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to, gaing

show examples

Correct your spelling

gaining

going

gaing

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gaining

the sense of money, they may find

easier

Correct pronoun usage

it easier

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to drop out the

university

Use synonyms

, and work to earn their living.

For example

Linking Words

, in

romania

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Romania

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, the authorities are struggling to find solutions for youths that are preferring a new path to obtain money

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apply

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and

quite

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quit

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their studies. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

working while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college or

university

Use synonyms

period is

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beneficial

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for some people,

Change the capitalization

show examples

still believe that they should focus on their studies.

Submitted by dr.lurabraga on Sat Nov 26 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

358 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

time management
responsibility
financial management
employability
professional network
work environment
career opportunities
prioritize tasks
academic excellence
scholarships
advanced studies
specialized fields
stress management
balanced life
juggling responsibilities

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

in today's world many people own a smartphone. do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages

Some people say that the bicycles are a good, modern means of transportation. Other say riding a bicycle has clear disadvantages. Discuss both view points and give your own opinion.