IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some cities create extra housing by constructing tall buildings. Other cities do this by building on wide areas of land. Which do you think is the best solution to the problem of housing?

#cities #buildings #areas #land
In
this
 era,
due to
 a spurt in population dwelling in the cities
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 a matter of concern. Some metropolis finds the solution for
this
 by expanding vertically
while
 others prefer to grow horizontally.
However
, the focus of
this
 essay is to discuss both views I concur with the former statement and the reasons shall be stated in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, the construction of high-rises will save space requirements for housing. To elaborate, the multi-storey property will accommodate numerous families and they will be sharing common resources viz. Water tank, infrastructure for electricity, Gas connection etcetera.
For example
, hectic metropolitan cities like Delhi, and Mumbai choose the vertical model, and skyscrapers
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 the
icon
Fix the agreement mistake
icons
show examples
 of these cities nowadays.
Furthermore
, since apartments have residents association, it organises cultural events, sports activities and so on.
As a result
, it will boost the bonding among communities and will have recreation for the people.
On the other hand
, low-rise buildings are safer when compared to high-rise. To clarify, during fire accidents or
earthquakes
Add a comma
earthquakes,
show examples
 it is effortless to do rescue measures in the Urban sprawl.
For instance
, When the World
trade
Capitalize word
Trade
show examples
centre
Replace the word
Centre
show examples
 was under terrorist attack it was a herculean task for the firefighters to do their rescue operations.
In addition
, individual homes provide more privacy and we can enjoy our private garden and courtyard. On top of that, waste management won't be a daunting task for the authorities. In conclusion, having discussed both views I infer that the construction of high-rise buildings is the conducive solution for the high population growth rate since skyscrapers will consume only less area in comparison to low-rise buildings. And the vertical model will boost harmony among residents and society.
Submitted by ammuj93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and precise introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of your essay.
task achievement
Address both views explicitly and provide examples to support your arguments. Consider presenting a balanced view of the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: