IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think that it could be better to our environment and economic if people only ate local produced food. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumer #people #environment
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalisation,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food can be delivered directly to
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
. The benefit of
this
 tendency,
importing
Change the verb form
to import
show examples
 food from overseas
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 numerous.
Firstly
, people can have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
diverse types of fruits,vegetables and seafood, without being ceased by
Correct your spelling
geographical
geographycal
Correct your spelling
geographical
 barriers. Living in
consumerism
Correct article usage
the consumerism
show examples
 era, human beings try to purchase
aliments
Correct your spelling
ailments
show examples
 that cannot be found in their country, in
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
.
For example
, in Romania, winters are very cold,
consequently
, bananas cannot be grown there, throughout the
tear
Correct your spelling
year
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
Secondly
Sevondly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, having
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to choose from a wide range of foods,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people with health problems, can be treated just by eating healthier,
getting
Correct word choice
and getting
show examples
 the
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
 necessary to combat their illness.
Researches
Fix the agreement mistake
Research
show examples
 have found, that cancer in 1 stage can be treated easily with a strict diet. Looking at the disadvantages, these should not be neglected.
Firstly
, the duration of transport,the principal
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 is through
ship
Add an article
the ship
show examples
,
Correct your spelling
which can
whichcan
Correct your spelling
which can
last
 even a month. Those foods are degradable,
therefore
, for maintaining them, the foreign farmers need to use fertilizers and pesticides.as a consequence, their
falovur
Correct your spelling
flavour
 and taste
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
 dramatically.
Moreover
, the agriculture industry suffers. The peasants, find
inutile
Correct pronoun usage
it inutile
show examples
 to grow crops
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because the price production increases
as well as the
Add the comma(s)
, as well as the purchase tendency,
show examples
purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
show examples
 tendency declines. The farmers from Developing countries, find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
show examples
 to conquer the
Correct your spelling
foreign
foreing
Correct your spelling
foreign
 chains, as a
Consequence
Replace the word
Consequently
show examples
 they give up,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 growing fields. In conclusion, both advantages and disadvantages should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by dr.lurabraga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: