Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is true that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
have
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has
show examples
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
addicted to
smartphones
. While there are a series of
reason
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reasons
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
this
situation, in my opinion, I think its disadvantage overweights
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
. I think many factors contribute to
this
Correct your spelling
serious
seirous
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serious
problem.
First
, parents have no adequate
time
to spend with their
children
because of the high work pressure on adults.
Instead
of educating
children
face
Add the particle
to face
show examples
to face, parents prefer to leave their
children
with
smartphones
.
Second
, teachers regard
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
as a necessary teaching
aids
Correct the article-noun agreement
aid
show examples
, so they assign more task that
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to be
complete
Replace the word
completed
show examples
on phones which provide their students with opportunities to use
smartphones
.
Third
, some
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websites
webesites
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websites
or applications
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constantly
consistently
constently
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constantly
offer attractive contents which
are
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is
show examples
addictive to young people.
With
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interaction
of
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apply
show examples
these reasons, students spend more
time
on
smartphones
. In terms of physical health and social skills as well as other aspects of negative impacts, I believe not a positive development when
children
lost
Add a missing verb
are lost
show examples
in their
smartphones
. It is obvious that too much online
time
will lead to a lack of sports and social
time
.
For example
, students
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
video
game
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games
show examples
instead
of going out to enjoy real teamwork sports
such
as football and basketball. Their physical energy will become weak and contract
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different health problems
such
as obesity.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
Moverover
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Moreover
,
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
sceen
Correct your spelling
screen
time
is bad for their eyesight. The number of
Add an article
a teenager
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
with eye problems is increasing all over the world. To sum up, not only simple factors attribute to
this
serious problem. I believe
that is
not a good trend.
Submitted by 535911488 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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