Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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It is true that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
have
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has
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becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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addicted to
smartphones
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. While there are a series of
reason
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reasons
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cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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this
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situation, in my opinion, I think its disadvantage overweights
benefits
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the benefits
show examples
. I think many factors contribute to
this
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serious
seirous
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serious
problem.
First
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, parents have no adequate
time
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to spend with their
children
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because of the high work pressure on adults.
Instead
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of educating
children
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face
Add the particle
to face
show examples
to face, parents prefer to leave their
children
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with
smartphones
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.
Second
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, teachers regard
internet
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the internet
show examples
as a necessary teaching
aids
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aid
show examples
, so they assign more task that
need
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needs
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to be
complete
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completed
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on phones which provide their students with opportunities to use
smartphones
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.
Third
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, some
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websites
webesites
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websites
or applications
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constantly
consistently
constently
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constantly
offer attractive contents which
are
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is
show examples
addictive to young people.
With
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The
show examples
the
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apply
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interaction
of
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apply
show examples
these reasons, students spend more
time
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on
smartphones
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. In terms of physical health and social skills as well as other aspects of negative impacts, I believe not a positive development when
children
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lost
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are lost
show examples
in their
smartphones
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. It is obvious that too much online
time
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will lead to a lack of sports and social
time
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.
For example
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, students
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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video
game
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games
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instead
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of going out to enjoy real teamwork sports
such
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as football and basketball. Their physical energy will become weak and contract
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different health problems
such
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as obesity.
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Moreover
Moverover
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Moreover
,
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
time
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sceen
Correct your spelling
screen
time
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is bad for their eyesight. The number of
Add an article
a teenager
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teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
with eye problems is increasing all over the world. To sum up, not only simple factors attribute to
this
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serious problem. I believe
that is
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not a good trend.
Submitted by 535911488 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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