Governments should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the public. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #development #sport #art #school #students #sports #performances

Many

parents

encourage young people to leave

home

then

they age , while

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

think they should stay

home

with family.In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

views and will give my opinion. For the

first

belief I can say that people should think about their future

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

without

parents

, must know that they cannot live with

parents

all life. Teenagers should search

variants

Change preposition

for variants

show examples

to leave from

parental

Add an article

the parental

show examples

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

Also

start working or studying. But if

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

does not show initiative, some

parents

start. Push

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

to leave the house or kick out him. I think that

parents

should give

cild

Correct your spelling

child

time to start living separately.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

parents

cannot

keeping

Change the verb form

keep

be keeping

show examples

children at

home

because it can affect their psyche and socialization. Teenagers may want to leave their

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

by themselves and their

parents

should

Correct your spelling

help

show examples

helm

Correct your spelling

help

show examples

them with

this

. Taking into account all of the above, I can say that it is very important to give teenagers live

from

Change preposition

show examples

parental

Correct article usage

a parental

show examples

home

and

parents

should help people to get

this

moment.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sun Nov 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?
Although there have been so many advancements in agricultural areas, thousands of people still suffer from hunger and not having a nutritional diet. There might be several reasons for this occasion and also there must be some solutions to solve this problem because if the advancements are not going to improve human beings’ life standards, then what are they for?
7
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development
In today’s digital age, with the advancement of technology, smartphones play a key role in our lives, and this has led to the phenomenon of some children spending a considerable amount of time on their smartphones. Therefore, this essay will explore the root causes of this trend, and I believe that this situation brings about numerous adverse impacts on children.
5.5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them
Nowadays, with development of parenting method, some people argue that it is imperative for children to decide everyday matters by their own while others argue it will bring a negative impact to society as they will become selfish individuals. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my perspective.
4.5
band
Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that some people think that having sports in schools is not effective, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is very important for education. In my view, I disagree with the first belief, because sport is very vast in our life. In this essay, I will explain why sports are very essential.
5.5
band
some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this contemporary year, acceptance or revision is one of the most common and debatable issues for individuals. A part of the community thinks that the way to obtain beneficial conclusions for various events -such as job,money,education and health- must be through endeavour whereas , a few group individuals do not want to effort for innovations. I tend to be on the same wavelength with the initial idea for the reasons, I will demonstrate below.

Governments should spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students rather than supporting professional sports and art performances for the public. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.