Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom

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It is argued that

children

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are given excessive

freedom

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in the present day. From my point of view, I partly agree with

this

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idea because they do have more choices than before. There are several reasons why I agree that

children

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have more

freedom

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currently.

Firstly

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, a growing number of parents would do whatever they can to meet the leisure needs of their offspring.

For example

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, it is more likely to happen now that a father would purchase a console if his child asks for it.

Secondly

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, students are encouraged to develop their own hobbies at school or in their family

while

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those in the past would be forced to learn some subjects in which they had no interest.

Therefore

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, I agree that

children

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have more

freedom

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in the family or at school nowadays. Despite the reasons mentioned above, I would argue that

such

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freedom

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has a beneficial impact on both the academic and psychological development of

children

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. Students are allowed to choose their favourite courses to learn, and

this

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means that they are more likely to achieve a better academic performance because they are passionate about what they are taught.

For instance

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, in China, many students are free to select subjects they are interested in as elective courses, and they usually perform well in

such

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courses.

Besides

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, being given more

freedom

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can help to make them become self-reliant. They are encouraged to make decisions on their own and shoulder the responsibility for their behaviour, and

this

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will undoubtedly be advantageous to their future life. In conclusion, I agree that

children

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nowadays have more

freedom

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than those in the past, and I believe that

this

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is a positive development.

Submitted by tincel on Sun Nov 27 2022

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coherence cohesion

You have provided a clear opinion and supported it effectively with relevant examples. Ensure that your ideas are presented in a more organized and coherent manner, linking them together to create a smoother flow of ideas.

task response

You have addressed the question and provided a well-developed response supported by relevant examples. Ensure that your ideas are developed more thoroughly, providing further explanation and analysis to strengthen your arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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