For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

School
students
developing social development and level of intelligence
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more guidance from
teachers
than
parents
. I agree that
teachers
can play a crucial role in increasing the level of intelligence of a student but
parents
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
much effort into social development.
Students
spend more
time
with their
parents
and they are quick learners
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my view. To commence with,
students
spent weekly more than 20 hours in school but they spent the rest of the
time
with their
parents
, as well as with neighbours and relatives. During
this
time
they always follow their elders and learn behaviours, and social connections from them. In that
case
Add a comma
,case
show examples
most of the
time
parents
try to teach their
children
how to communicate with people and how they can easily maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social relationships.
For Instance
,
children
learn from their
parents
how to celebrate a festival with society people like eid, and puja, and that actually helps them to develop their knowledge about the social community.
Secondly
, when
children
are going to school they get to meet up with different peers of them from several environments and they share the same stage. The
teachers
always encouraged the
students
to do some empirical things as well as
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
share many real-life experiences that are related to topics with them and that helps them to build their intelligence.
For example
, if one teacher shows a video
that is
related to a robot or how planes are made that kind of video actually helps the child to learn some new knowledge about technology. To conclude,
teachers
play an incredible role to make
children
more intelligent and
on the other hand
by developing social connections and by teaching them social activities
parents
help them to develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social communication.
Submitted by koly2751 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundational role
  • structured influence
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • appetite for learning
  • curriculum
  • learning styles
  • socialize
  • cooperate
  • navigate social norms
  • underestimated
  • role models
  • confined
  • academic year
  • life lessons
  • formative years
  • moral and behavioral development
  • supportive home environment
  • reinforcing
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!