For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
School
students
developing social development and level of intelligence has
more guidance from Correct subject-verb agreement
have
teachers
than parents
. I agree that teachers
can play a crucial role in increasing the level of intelligence of a student but parents
gives
much effort into social development. Change the verb form
give
Students
spend more time
with their parents
and they are quick learners and
Correct word choice
apply
this
essay will discuss about
my view.
To commence with, Remove the preposition
apply
students
spent weekly more than 20 hours in school but they spent the rest of the time
with their parents
, as well as with neighbours and relatives. During this
time
they always follow their elders and learn behaviours, and social connections from them. In that case
most of the Add a comma
,case
time
parents
try to teach their children
how to communicate with people and how they can easily maintain the
social relationships. Correct article usage
apply
For Instance
, children
learn from their parents
how to celebrate a festival with society people like eid, and puja, and that actually helps them to develop their knowledge about the social community.
Secondly
, when children
are going to school they get to meet up with different peers of them from several environments and they share the same stage. The teachers
always encouraged the students
to do some empirical things as well as they
share many real-life experiences that are related to topics with them and that helps them to build their intelligence. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, if one teacher shows a video that is
related to a robot or how planes are made that kind of video actually helps the child to learn some new knowledge about technology.
To conclude, teachers
play an incredible role to make children
more intelligent and on the other hand
by developing social connections and by teaching them social activities parents
help them to develop the
social communication.Correct article usage
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite