Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What could be the reason for this trend, and what can be done to reverse it?

It is universally accepted that there are numerous progress and developments in the healthcare system.
However
, the decline of the average physical
health
index in developing nations is becoming an alarming problem. The reasons for
this
vary and remedies need to be taken to cope with
this
irritating issue.
To begin
with, there are several factors explaining why citizens'
health
in many countries tends to decline.
Firstly
, the world is getting increasingly complicated, which entails more kinds of life pressure on most residents, especially those living in urban areas. There is a significant tendency for them to consume various types of fast food and soft drinks because of their convenience.
This
results in their degradation of
health
and fitness.
Secondly
, as the world develops, technology affects almost every part of society. People,
therefore
, tend to rely on these improvements.
For example
, citizens prefer using motorbikes or private cars to travel to work or school to walking or riding bicycles. Some diseases
such
as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular are one of the most common consequences of
this
sedentary lifestyle.
Therefore
, a number of steps need to be taken to solve
this
negative situation. Primarily, the governments and authorities should organize propaganda sessions to raise residents' awareness about the importance of a healthy lifestyle and balanced diet. In lieu of only consuming meat-based products, people can combine them with other plant-based products and fruits. Companies may have outdoor activities for office workers or encourage them to use staircases
instead
of lifts or escalators.
Moreover
, the governments can collect funds to spend on facilitating equipment at public parks, gymnasiums or sports centres.
As a result
, residents might keep up with taking physical activities. In conclusion, the reasons why individuals'
health
declines stem from several core factors related to society and the economy. Yet, I strongly believe that some aforementioned solutions are viable to be adopted to deal with
this
negative phenomenon.
Submitted by ngoclamthieunang on

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task response
Address the opposing view.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words more consistently to improve coherence and cohesion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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